Open letter to The Man That Took a Very Deliberate Piss on the Bus Today:

Attention: Man that took a very deliberate piss on the bus today,

I am calling you out on your public urination in the not-so-public of ways, because, at the time of your indiscretion, I was too shocked by your complete disregard for your fellow passengers.  As you got up and approached the doorway, I noticed your aged face and felt bad for the obese, old man struggling not to fall as the bus lurched down the avenue.  You stood by the door, leaning into the corner, looking hardened and sad.  But then, I heard the sound of running water, and looked down to see a solid stream coming from your direction.  Still, I felt bad for a moment, thinking that perhaps you had spilled your tasty beverage.

But alas, no.  You were taking a very deliberate piss just 3 mere feet away from me. You used the corner of the bus entrance like a urinal stall, zipped up and then sat back down.

I have considered the fact that, because you are old, perhaps you cannot hold it.  I would accept this as an unpleasant, but understandable reality.  However, I believe that you could have held it for an extra 15 seconds until you could have gotten off the bus and pissed in the street.  The gutter is there, to lead such grime, filth and urine into the sewer.  I am not oblivious to the fact that there are likely urine and feces particles on the curb of the biggest downtown street.  However, I am within my rights to naievely pretend that such bodily fluids do not end up on the seats and grip bars of such public transportation.

I also wish to remind you that it was before 12pm on a muggy Monday morning.  It was not late on a Saturday night, nor was it a national holiday commonly marked by excessive drinking. If you were drunk, it was not the socially acceptable time to be drunk.

I retain the right to not have to view, step in, or acknowledge your genitals/bodily fluids. Your use of public transportation is your acceptance of these terms, and you have broken the contract as stated herein.

Signed, sincerely,

The girl that was trying to keep to herself and
enjoy the bus ride home with the comfort of her mp3 player.

P.S. Perhaps, this letter should instead be an apology addressed to the girl standing just a mere foot from you and your member.  The one I tried to make eye contact with as you were sprinkling urine on her adidas.  I would like to apologize for not grabbing her by the arm and pulling her to safety.  But at the moment, it seemed better that she remain blisfully unaware.  As a passive party to the sullying of your sneakers, I apologize.