What does a roller derby team have in common with a fetus?

So, I’ve been retired from derby for just about 4 weeks now, and oddly, it doesn’t really feel like I’m in any state of recovery from addiction, or anything like that.  I joke that I feel like a prisoner that’s been in solitary, only now to be released into gen-pop, and see people I haven’t seen, and do things I haven’t done for a long time, almost 4 years to be more specific.

I’ve also joked that I’m not breaking up with derby.  We’re just in an open relationship.  I’m still skating with the local junior league, coaching fresh meat, etc.  But, derby and I now have an understanding that I’m also allowed to sleep in, skip parties, see my non-derby pals, craft, and do pretty much whatever I want.

Though the timing is funny, because I plan on trying to get pregnant sometime in the fall.  Recently, I had to forgo a groupon for free laser hair removal, planning to be pregnant and unable to use it.  Realizing that within the next few months I will need to start doing things a bit differently has made me realize that I am in a unique time-frame in which my body belongs to me, not to my derby team, and not to my fetus.

Stay with me here…when I was skating, I was one of those skaters that made a conscious decision to eat well, exercise, sleep, and be the healthiest skater I could be, so that I could contribute my 100% on bout day.  Derby also meant passing on other stuff, like drinking less, not getting tattooed (thus missing contact drills), missing out on family functions scheduled on bout days.

Now, being pregnant will mean watching every little thing, including what sort of nail polish I can use, how well I wash my fruit, avoiding certain cheeses and so on.  I am at my most vain level of anxiety when I see my gray roots peeking out and worry how I can cope with not dying my hair for at least 3 months.  Holy smokes…

In the meantime, I’m enjoying this time when I am the only person I need to eat, sleep, exercise, (or not exercise) for.  Nothing is causing me pain, making me have to pee or keeping me up at night.  My body is mine to serve, and neither my roller derby team or my fetus has any say in the matter.

My Readings

Once, about 15 years ago, I visited a psychic, because my room mate told me that he was hearing a voice call my name when no one else was there.  All she could say was that it was a ghost, but that my room mate was hearing it wrong, and the ghost was looking for someone else.  I’m not sure which dissapointed me more; the fact that she was telling me I had a strange ghost in my home, or the fact that she was too uncreative to make up a plausible reason that a ghost might be looking for me.

Flash forward to modern day me, last weekend, when I went to a psychic party with 5 girls.  The woman did a reading in my friend’s spare bedroom, complete with a cassette tape recording of the event.

To summarize the points that might have mattered, if I believed in psychics:

She told me that I am good at giving advice on relationships, but not so good at following my own common sense approach in these matters.

I asked her about us starting a family, and she said that if we hadn’t made an annoncement by thanksgiving, it would have to wait until next year.  (I know-she’s basically predicting that it could happen anytime except December.)  The reason I gave a second thought to that, is that if my math is right, October is the soonest I can get pregnant, and deliver after graduation next spring.  So, she did manage to pick the one month that I had in mind.

She told me that I had been short changed, or had something taken from me in October (I honestly cannot think of anything that would even support the imaginary notion)…and that this issue would be repaid to me in April…specifically on or after April 21.  I don’t know what this means, but I’ve marked 4/21/11 on my calendar, just in case.

She told me that a male mentor type figure would come back into my life soon-and that he would have an opportunity for me.  This was likely to coincide with the April thing.  I’m not sure who that figure would be, but I’m interested in whatever that might mean.

UPDATE: I’m all about kooky co-incidences, not so much psychic abilities.  But, on 4/21/11 I got an e-mail from one of the english teachers at school telling me that I’d won a writing contest scholarship.  So, how do you like them psychic apples?

Are you Juicing?

Why yes, yes I am.  I have become a hippy-dippy juice drinking, raw vegan…but only for a few days.

Let me back up…

I retired from Roller Derby last week.  I don’t like to think of myself as having “quit”…more like I’m in an open relationship with derby, with potential for hook-ups in the form of coaching, etc.  But, since I’m not burning 800 calories a night, 2-3 nights a week, I have got to watch my eating and exercise.

So, I tried running again, after a day of post-bout recouperation.  It was going well, until I tripped and scraped up my side 4 minutes in.  I walked home, bloody, and forlorn about my workout prospects. Without exercise, my social structures and overloaded school/derby/work schedule I was depressed, bored and pretty bitchy as a result.

Friday night, husband and I were watching a couple things on the netflix (yes, now that I’m done with derby, I can have a Friday night at home).  We started out watching “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead” intending to just try 30 minutes…How interesting could a 140 minute program about drinking vegetable juice be?  I won’t go into the concept of the film…you should just watch it, or at least the trailer. Well, we watched the entire thing, and as the closing credits rolled, we just looked at each other and mutually agreed that the next morning we needed to 1.) Go buy a juicer. 2.) hit up the West Side Market for some fresh produce.

And we did.  We got the Juiceman at Target for $59, and dropped $45 on all the veggies we could haul at the local farmer’s market.  Then we came home and made juice.

Hubby started it off making a gazpacho type juice, tomato, cucumber, bell peppers, cilantro, celery and lime.  It was hella good. Dinner’s juice was a batch of fruit juice, pineapple, apple, orange and lime.  Also quite delicious, but we agreed it left us feeling a bit sluggish.  But, it was worth trying and feeling as though we were having dessert…one of the hardest concepts to give up with any change in diet.

This morning, I went to brunch with a derby pal.  If there’s anything worth breaking a juice fast for, it’s pancakes with one of your best girls.

This afternoon, we made up a big batch of “Mean Green” following the recipe in the aforementioned film.  Celery, kale, cucumber, apple and lime.  It looks like swamp water, but is actually really delicious.  We agreed we taste the cucumber and apple, maybe the celery, but very little kale.  So, I made another big batch, used up the rest of the veggies we bought, and I’m set for tomorrow’s daytime meals.

I know you didn’t come to my blog to read about my juicing habits.  You, like myself, are curious about how it works and how it feels.

The Juicer: I like the juicer.  It feels like a power tool for my health.  But, the juicing for 2 people is not without it’s time suck.  Furthermore, it’s a big ‘effing mess until you know what you’re doing and how to get things put through without jamming and overflowing the machine.  But, we figured out that it needs regular cleaning out between processing the leafy veggies, in order to keep it from backing up.  Apples, cucumbers and celery make a lot of juice. Kale, in contrast to it’s bulky leaves, makes very little. But, the process is enjoyable, complete with the pleasant aromas of preparing fresh summer fruits and veggies.

“Day 2”.  I’ll call it that, but let me start by saying I haven’t adhered closely, as I’ve had a light breakfast both days, due to previous commitments.  But tomorrow will be 100% juice. As for both days, I’ve had 2-3 pint glasses of juice, followed by about 5 pints of water (spiked with lime juice for flavor).  I was somewhat active both days, and I will say that while I don’t feel irritable or crabby, I do feel very tired.  Empty tired, like a hollowness or a lightness that I often experience after yoga.

It seems there is supposed to be a massive explosion of colon cleansing happening, and while I’ve had one decent poo today, it was not of the epic proportions that were described in the film.  I will attribute that to A. I’ve cheated with breakfasts B. I did not eat as much dark green veggies, and perhaps had too much fruit juice.  I can only hope that my colon is not saving up some catastrophic event for me right after I arrive at work tomorrow morning.  I may, or may not, keep you posted.

So far, I have no cravings to speak of.  I might “miss” coffee and dairy, but I don’t miss chocolate, hamburgers or ice cream.  Perhaps I’d like a glass of wine for some social time with my husband, but we’ll just fill that slot with juicing.

Why juice?: The film convinced me that juicing is not only a weight loss method, but it may help with my acne as well as my irregularity (read gas, bloating, and hemmoroids).  Most importantly, I’m getting into the habit of buying, cleaning and enjoying fruits and vegetables.  In about 11 days, I’ll be back to enjoying my cynically non-vegan meals, but it’s a flushing of healthy foods into my over-processed, carb and protein heavy diet.

Progress: I started out a 170 lbs and a 37 inch waist.  I will let you know, whenever this is done, what results may ensue.

30 update

So, apparently I’m either overly optimistic about my goal-setting, or I just slacked…truthfully, I think it was somewhere in the middle–I more or less just changed my priorities and did what I could.   Here’s the update on my “by 30” goals, since the “30” passed last week:

Run 50 miles:

No go.  I did run about 28…including one day when I ran an hour straight.  But, I also stepped up my skating a lot over the past few weeks, as my knee and back were not loving the running.  I think that running requires a lot of overall body stability and strength, which is something I need to build up before I get hardcore into it.  Yoga is likely the thing I’ll need to focus on more soon, as I’ve had 2 back injuries so far this year.

Take fancy pictures and print:

No go.  Just gonna have to bump this until AFTER my trip.  more on that to come.

Drop 2 inches from waist:

Dropped 4! So there! I’m in the best shape of my life (despite the failed running goal) and it really did feel good to be fit by 30, even if I’ve never really been “fit” before.

Short story writing:

Nothing happening here.  However, the good news–I did win an academic scholarship to my college for the creative writing contest–only 3 undergrad prizes were awarded, so that’s sweet.

This was supposed to have been a goal, but I’ve also booked my trip to Kanab, UT and Best Friends Animal Sanctuary.  This has been a goal for me for sometime, and I think it’ll be a wonderfully cathartic experience to see homeless pets living the great life.  I still carry around a great deal of sadness and guilt as a former shelter worker that euthanized dogs and cats (for reasons I didn’t always agree with) and I think this trip might serve as a little bit of therapy.

Let’s just hope I have what it takes to come back to my rainy, foggy hometown.