5 by 30 update for Feb

Ok, about 2 months into my 5 by 30 challenge, so I’m due for an update:

1. run 50 miles. (not in a row!  are you nuts!  no, just 50 total…)

STATUS: I’ve run about 17 so far…and getting better and stronger.  I ran 4.4 miles on Monday, which is about 1.2 miles farther than ever before.

2. take more pictures with new fancy camera, all in new places.  print 5 of them, and frame and hang at least 1.

STATUS: I have not done this.  But I’m looking forward to doing it!

3. knock down the best jammer on my derby team.  (not naming names-she can’t know I’m gunning for her.)

STATUS: I did this, and it didn’t  feel as good as I thought it would.  Though, I think she was kind of proud of me.  However, she recently bruised my ribs, so I think we’re even.

4. drop 2 inches off the tummy, to be ready to wear a bikini for the first time ever (at 30!).  ECE is coming in June, and I need to be ready for the pool.  I’m big all over, but my mid-section is the area that is dangerously fatty.  This goal seems like it should be easy enough, considering goal #1.    Stick to the workouts, keep eating around 1500 calories/day…should be ok, right?  (Famous fat last words…) Starting measurements 39 inches at the belly button.  (This is why I’m blogging anonymously.  How do you like them apples, interwebs?)

STATUS: I’m kicking this goal’s ass!  I’ve lost 3.5 inches so far.  While 2 inches doesn’t go as far as one might think, I’m on my way.  I’m looking fit, dropping unhealthy weight, feeling good.  Not quite bikini ready just yet, but closer than I’ve ever been.

Advice: Myfitnesspal.com is a great tool!

5. Write 4 short stories, fiction or non-fiction.  That’s no small task, considering I’m the one making myself write them-they’re not assignments or deadline.  It’s a self-inflicted deadline.

STATUS: I have not done, nor even started this.  I have great anxiety over this project, and it’s not looking good.  I want to write, I enjoy writing, but I do not enjoy creating story ideas.  It seems that I do not do well without outside implemented deadlines. Suggestions?  Story ideas?  Help me out here, peoples.


Subliminal Messages

I’ve always been big on finding messages or meaning in the songs that come on the radio.  Not quite a sign.  Not that they tell me something I needed to know, but more like they affirm something I’d already suspected.

Today, it happened 3 times, in very conspicuous ways…

1. Brick House

This morning, my derby team met with a sports psychologist to outline our goals and overcome some “baggage” that we’d been carrying in terms of anxiety.  (Note, if you ever thought derby wasn’t legit: would a “staged” sport integrate sports psychology?)   The Dr. helped one girl who was feeling ineffective by asking her to visualize herself with a wall, a big brick wall made up of her team mates.  We all instantly started thinking about “brick house”, wiggling in our seats.  Partially from the bass line in our heads and partially from anticipation for our home opener in 2 weeks.

Brick House came on the radio on my way home from that meeting.

Mr. Big Stuff

2. This afternoon, I stopped by the funeral of my ex’s aunt.  I won’t go into the very bad history that I have with my ex (we’ll save that for a more cathartic post) but let’s just say that I was there for an hour and all we did was nod to each other.  I was just glad that I didn’t get a case of the nerves or the sense of (unwarranted) shame that often comes when I see him.  Actually, seeing him just made me feel bad for his mouse of a new girlfriend, because he’s going to chew her up and spit her out, like a soggy pile of dripping chaw.  Like he did me several years ago.

Walking out of the funeral home, back straight, feeling myself strong in my stride, I felt like I was leaving a funeral for the sad me, the self-doubting, me.    We’ve been done for years, but the insecurity and anxiety has stayed.  No more.  Burned. Buried. Dust in the ever-loving wind.

Who does he think he is?

3. Proud Mary

Proud Mary is somewhat an anthem to my derby league–Rolling on the River…Big wheels keep on turning…proud mary keeps on Burning!

Tina. Proud Mary.  Derby Girls. Me.  All examples of women that have it rough-but come out on top.  Hard work, aches, pains.  But we keep on burning.

If Tina were standing here, I’d have to thank her for the pep talk.  Let her know that she did me almost as much good as the morning’s therapy session.